Back in 1969 a film and television critic, Clive Barnes, opined, “Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want.”
I wonder what he’d think of television in 2005.
According to the Nielsen Ratings, more than 27 million people watch CSI, which I am ok with – it’s a good show and I mostly enjoy it, which, of course, is why I am good with 27 million other people liking it as well. I'd like to see Vincent D'Onofrio replaced since, one, on a personal level, he's an idiot, and two, the character he plays is so tired, so overdone, so quirky, that it distracts from the show itself. I'll take any one of the Law and Order shows any time.
What doesn’t make sense to me, and probably never will, is that 24 million people watch Desperate Housewives and, even worse, although fewer people do so, is that 20 million people watch Extreme Makeover.
Extreme Makeover. There are people out there, 20 million of them, in fact, that lose an hour of their lives every week, in order to sit glued to the television, watching ugly people made… well, no different. Not that their looks aren’t changed, but who they are remains the same and I can tell you, that’s what makes the real difference in life.
David, a 36-year-old special education teacher for severely handicapped children from Highland, CA, always had a dream of becoming a rock star. With the help of his music idol, Tom Keifer from the '80s rock band Cinderella, David turns out rock hard and rocking. Not only did Tom surprise David with a meeting, but he also collaborated with David on a song written for his wife, Melissa. David had upper and lower eyelid lift, rhinoplasty, chin implant, neck sculpting, liposuction under chin and abdomen, removal of fat from lower eyes, mole removal, LASIK eye surgery, one porcelain crown, 15 porcelain veneers, tissue re-contouring of his lower gums and Zoom whitening.
Now, David’s apparently a really nice guy, doing good work, and was unhappy enough with his appearance to risk national exposure as an insecure guy, with some serious image problems. Well, ok, he does have Tom Keifer as an “idol”, and that does speak to some other problems with David’s psyche but what the hell.
So, two things.
One. David is going to find out, sooner rather than later probably, that appearance means nothing, especially to the person wearing the face. What does matter, of course, is what’s behind the face. David does valuable work, and I hope he does it well. The hands he holds, the hearts he touches, the minds he helps find growth, will never worry about David’s eyelids or droopy chin.
Two. If 20 million people have nothing better to do with their time, no higher ideal, no deeper thought than to sit and stare at a television screen while some near-middle-aged rocker wanna be with his priorities way the hell out of alignment with what really matters publicly humiliates himself, then it may be time for a purge.
Of course, I still like the movie Dogma, so who am I to talk….
And as an aside, if you ever do commit 135 minutes to watching Dogma on DVD, try this with Disc 1:
Select Scene Selections
Hit More until you're at the last page
Hit the number '3' twice on your remote control
Sit back and watch 'How Jay Thinks Kevin Directs' as acted out by the Jay and Silent Bob action figure theatre.
NOTE: You may have to hit 'ENTER' after each number on some players.
I love Easter Eggs.
I mostly hate network TV.
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